It Takes a Lifetime and Goes By In a Flash

Mirabai's college graduation was wonderful. The school years are officially over. And I've been a great big ball of feelings ever since.

When the kids were young and I was drowning in care, I'd bristle when older parents would wistfully tell me they grow up so fast. But now I get it. I'm stunned that a span of years that felt like a lifetime could flash by in an instant.

It brings to mind a movie I saw when I was at a very different stage of parenting.

Have you seen Boyhood?

The 2014 movie tells the coming-of-age story of Mason Evans, Jr. from ages six to eighteen.

Writer/director Richard Linklater shot the film annually over 12 years so as the movie progresses we watch Mason (played by Ellar Coltrane) grow up. Literally.

That's not even the whole of it: according to Wikipedia, the project began without a completed script, with only basic plot points and the ending written initially — Linklater developed each year's portion after rewatching the previous year's footage, incorporating changes he saw in each actor and folding their real-life experiences into their characters' arcs. (Worth noting if you look it up yourself: the full entry contains spoilers.)

I saw Boyhood at a press screening in a little theater in northwest Portland. (In 2014, we bloggers weren't "influencers," we were press. Heh! Those were heady days.) I knew nothing about the film or Linklater's earlier work. This was ideal; I love going into a movie cold.

I took my seat ready for some popcorn and entertainment, but what I got was a life-altering experience.

Watching Boyhood is like witnessing a kid's entire childhood go by in three hours. The movie begins with Mason as an adorable six-year old. It ends with him in college. WITH FACIAL HAIR. 😭

At the time, my kids were in middle- and high school. Those were intense years that occupied my whole being; I couldn't imagine an offramp, let alone an ending.

As the credits rolled in that darkened theater, it actually hit me that my time with the kids wouldn’t last forever. For the first time, I felt it. Like a punch in the sternum.

Patricia Arquette plays Mason's mother, Olivia. Olivia's life in Boyhood was different enough from mine that I couldn’t fully identify with her at the time. But now? 😳 The exhaustion and fierce love and shock of grief…it's all right there in Arquette's powerful performance (she won an Oscar for the role).

Boyhood is a triumph of filmmaking. It's one of my favorite movies, but I need to wait a few months before I rewatch it. If I watched it now I'm not sure if I’d find it cathartic or traumatic.